Person with shoe horn

Budgeting Time for kink, A Beyond fetchat Musing

Content: Budgeting time for solo kink, Self-exploration, NSFW pictures.  

This past week on #fetchat, we discussed creating a kink or fetish practice on a budget. I’m creative when it comes to the tools I use to satisfy my appetite for kink. Spending hundreds of dollars on toys isn’t really an option for my family. My favorite impact toy is an extra-long wooden shoe-horn. But money isn’t the only thing I  prioritize when it comes to my sexual needs. I also budget time. We all do.

After all, time is a valuable commodity.

My honey is a tasty morsel of vanilla goodness, which means my kinkster practice is a solo endeavor. I’ve never been great at making time for myself, but I’m getting better. Creating space for masturbating with intention and budgeting my time for sexual expression has historically been about orgasming.

Exploring solo rope bondage, impact play, and edging is a newer practice.

It takes time to plan a solo scene. Just because there isn’t another person there doesn’t mean safety considerations and scene structure aren’t necessary. Safety planning is crucial when you’re the only one to judge if something’s going pear-shaped. And sub-drop is still possible, even if you’re playing alone. The time and effort to make something just for me is crucial. Learning to value and prioritize my own pleasure has been transformative. 

It’s been a gift to foster a deeper intimacy with myself. 

sleeping person with pocket watch

And by extension, my relationship with my honey continues to blossom and grow. Planning kink scenes for myself is a self-focused pursuit, but that doesn’t mean it can’t benefit my relationships. After all, being open with myself creates space for open communication with my partner. 

Budgeting for kink or fetish play isn’t just about dollars and toys. Intentionally creating space for pleasure, including the planning, is another way to honor and care for yourself and your relationships. 

Be well, be wonderful, and above all, be you. 


Beyond #fetchat
Beyond #fetchat is a weekly meme created so members of the #fetchat community can share their creatively kink side!

What am I listening to today? I’ve been all about Noah Reid’s new release Gemini. Reid’s songwriting is alive with poetry and vulnerability.


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