It’s April. April 2nd no less. There’s a lot going on in the world and in my life. Sometimes I don’t know where to look first and every single personal issue seems dwarfed in comparison to the deluge of shit that is happening in the US and abroad.
Today is one of those days where everything is overwhelming. I’m looking at an evergrowing list of to-do’s, all in varying levels of importance, from writing congresspersons and finishing the latest draft of a story, to ordering tea. It’s hard finding time for self-care and reflection.
There is hope on the horizon.
First, it’s week 13 of my EroticAdventure. I’ve finished The Satyricon (FINALLY!). It’s a zero on the makes-my-nethers-tingle-o-meter. Not sexy in the slightest. Also, more than a little rapey. Satire or no, I couldn’t get behind it. It’s worth the read because it’s a classic, both as a novel and as a piece of erotic fiction, and knowing your roots is important.
I haven’t started The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio yet. I’ll get on that tomorrow (See, I’m prioritizing).
This April Tabitha Rayne (erotica author, artist, and sex toy designer) is bringing back the #30DayOrgasmFun Masturbation for Mental Health Boost. The challenge is to masturbate every day for 30 days and keep an eye on how making love to yourself daily impacts your mental health.
I’m in. I need to focus more intently on self-love these days and this is a great way to talk about the mind/body connection.
Ms. Rayne, in her infinite wisdom, is promoting the wonderful idea that self-love (masturbation) is self-care.
My body and I aren’t always in sync and one of the ways I tune into myself, manage chronic pain, sleep, and the day-to-day suck of living with a chronic illness is through self-love.
There are a few things you need to know about me as we dive into this particular pool.
One, I’m forty-eight and I live with a chronic illness called Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (aka SLE or Lupus).
Two, I’m an incest survivor. I was 34 years old the first time I said that out loud to anyone. My recovery included learning to allow my mind and body to be present during sex.
Three, masturbation, for me, is one of the ultimate acts of self-care. It has aided me as I strive to nurture the body/mind connection that plays such a crucial role in my overall health.
Our body and our mind are part of the same organism that makes us who we are. I know it sounds like a greeting card, but trust me, it’s true. Learning about and caring for my sexual wellness is as much a part of my daily regimen as caring for my body and keeping my mind clear and sharp.
Love is love, and that includes the love and care you show yourself. At least that’s worked for me. There are times where I struggle with feeling trapped in a body that doesn’t work the way it used to when it comes to life and sex (both alone and with my honey).
If you’ve got a vulva and vagina sometimes getting wet gets harder as you get older (that’s been my experience). It takes me longer to get to have an orgasm and sometimes it just doesn’t happen. No matter how delightful the pleasure, I can’t get close enough to the cliff to fall off onto that cloud of orgasmic bliss.
Chronic pain, fatigue, anxiety (brought on my chronic pain and fatigue) make the gulf between struggle and acceptance that comes with self-love even more difficult to cross. But it’s possible and this month, I’m going to document that experience by participating in the #30DaysOrgasmFun.
So, stay tuned here for weekly updates and check me out on Instagram & Twitter for my daily thoughts on how this 30-day exploration of self-love is boosting my mental health and body positivity.
Be well, Be Wonderful, and Above All, Be You.