It’s March, which means spring is waiting off on stage left to make her entrance. Of course, that being said, it is 15 degrees Fahrenheit (-9 Celsius for those not in the US). Whatever number is on the thermometer, the general consensus is that it’s freaking cold.
Sex Toys, Self-Love, & Why Masturbating Beats Dieting Every Time
This week I’m introducing the Fin by Dame as the next toy in my curated collection of toys that make your toes curl with Desireforpassion.com. It’s a small finger (or toe) vibrator that delivers shivery, sweet orgasms and is perfect for masturbating and for partnered play. It’s a go-to for edging because of its ease of use, but I’ll talk more about that in tomorrow’s full review.
Getting to know and love our bodies is such an important part of finding peace in our own skin. At least that has been my experience. I’m short, 5’4″ (-ish, closer to 5’5″ depending on who’s measuring), and I’m a curvy woman, and by curvy I mean weigh a smidge over 200 lbs with full breasts and hips for days.
I’ve weighed less and I’ve weighed more. I’ve hated my body and loved it to an equal measure throughout the course of my life. I struggle with self-acceptance and self-love, like most folks, regardless of gender. For the sake of this musing, I’m referring to my experience as a cis-woman and the general mind-fuckery that women (trans & cis) experience in modern culture.
Anyway, yesterday I was tip-toeing through the cyber-tulips when I came across an article about something called “keto-crotch.” Who knew this was a thing? I guess that folks with vaginas who follow the keto diet are experiencing a change in their natural scent. I’m not a doctor, nor a dietician. Let’s be clear. But I just want to put this out there: If a diet makes your breath smell like nail polish remover or rotten fruit and your pussy smell like your battling the Queen Goddess of all yeast infections, then it’s not good for you.
FIRST: DIETS DON’T WORK. We know that because science and psychology. There’s a plethora of research out there, go to google, type in “do diets work” and then read on. Which means, by extension, that the Keto Diet is bullshit. Seriously, fuck all the folks who are promoting this nonsense as another way for us to torture ourselves into the white, Anglo-Saxon, western perception of beauty.
SECOND: Love Yourself. Literally and figuratively. Masturbation is an incredible way to begin loving the skin you’re in. There’s so much gobbledygook out there promoting how to be a better lover for someone else. Here’s a novel idea, be a better lover to yourself. Make love to and explore yourself. Live in your body for you, learn the ins and outs of what makes your thighs quiver, and revel in that because you deserve to feel good about yourself.
THIRD: Be a healthy you, not a starving someone else. There’s a great line from the movie “The Fisher King” (if you haven’t heard of it, then you must go watch it, because it’s lovely). Anyway, two women are talking and one says to the other:
“…You’re not a supermodel. We can’t all be Jerry Hall. What a boring world it’d be if we were all Jerry Hall….”
(Hall was a supermodel before there were supermodels, for those folks who may be wondering why anyone would want to be Jerry Hall).
My point is, sex toys and sass aside, that you’re an amazing, unique person. You don’t have to do anything other than be you to get there. Celebrate yourself, make love to yourself, woo you, and screw anyone who tells you to do differently. Self-love (literal and figurative) can help you be the person you want to be, because that person you want to see in the mirror, they’re already inside you. Your job is to clear away the crap that’s keeping you from seeing it.
The EroticAdventure Week 9: Satire and Satyrs
It’s a new week and a new book to explore. I’m diving into The Satyricon by Petronius for my next stop on the EroticAdventure. I’m excited because this is the first book on this journey that promises some raunchiness, maybe not modern raunch, but there’s definitely some sex filled waters ahead.
The forward and introduction are a must read. They are well written and give valuable context for the novel. What I’ve learned thus far is that Petronius was one of Nero’s advisors and ended up dead as a doornail because Nero was a violent, horrible human being. Petronius was also a shit who liked to court adversity because he could, so it’s not surprising he met with a horrible end.
The whole of the book is satire. The Satyricon (translated means, Satyr’s Tales) plays on the titles of Greek novels of a far more serious nature. The main character is named Encolpius which translates to “in-crotch,” for fuck’s sake. It also reflects the themes and narrative structures used by Homer, Plato, and Virgil, but in the manner of a fun-house mirror.
One thing that piqued my interest about this particular book was I’ve read Petronius wrote about men making love to men in The Satyricon as frequently as he wrote about men and women. So, I’m delighted to know there’s some M/M in my future. I’ve got this thing with men kissing. I think it’s beautiful.
Honestly, I think watching people kissing, regardless of gender (trans or cis) is hot. Pansexual here, remember. Sexual attraction, for me at least, isn’t predicated on gender. The idea of two men using their bodies to make love (fuck, have sex, get it on…pick your favorite phrase) is also about watching individuals subvert the cultural idea that it’s okay for men to use their bodies to kill each other but not to sexual gratify each other.
The idea a man who loves another man is less masculine than a man who beats/fights/kills/physically dominates another man is hogwash. That broken thinking is what perpetuates a culture that devalues love, intelligence, and character and celebrates hostility, hatred, and fear.
So, yeah, I’m excited to see where Petronius will take me and where The Satyricon will fall on the tingling-nethers-O-meter.
I’ll keep you up-to-date on my travels.
Be Well, Be Wonderful, and Above All, Be You.
Image Credit: A satyr reclining at the foot of a staute of Priapus, goats at the right, Giovanni Benedetto Castiglione (Il Grechetto) (Italian, Genoa 1609–1664 Mantua), ca. 1645–48, Bequest of Phyllis Massar, 2011, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, www.metmuseum.org.