My Queer Agenda,  Reflections

Pride, Privilege, and Pansexuality

UPDATE 4/13/2020: This piece was written prior to my coming out as genderqueer trans, nonbinary. I have updated the language to reflect that change in my experience, since even then I was struggling with my gender, and was trans nonbinary. I had just not come out yet. 

Happy Pride Month, My Beauties!

The world is a scary place. The LGBTQIA community needs to come together, recognize our differences, and learn how to support each other. That includes acknowledging that you may be privileged in a way that others are not and doing so without being a jerk. I’m a white, trans/non-binary person. I can’t speak to the experience of People of Color and Trans folks. I am willing to listen and learn about their lives.

Own your shit and be open to being wrong.

Every voice matters in the fight for civil rights in the US and abroad. The current administration is dismantling our hard-won freedoms.  There are countries around the world where LGBTQIA folks face torture and death for the way they love. If someone checks your privilege, put on your big-kid pants, and take a look at yourself. Don’t go wading into the “Oh yeah, but my life is hard too,” pool. I promise, no one is trying to take away your experiences.

It’s possible to honor someone else’s suffering and your own at the same time. You can also make the world a better place by being willing to look at the way you may be contributing to someone else’s pain.

So, there’s that.

Now onto pansexuality. Human sexuality exists along a spectrum. Gender doesn’t fit into the calculus of romantic and sexual attraction for some of us. It took me 40+ years to find language for my sexuality.  When folks in my own community say that my sexuality is a form of fraud, it hurts.

We’ve got enough problems without tearing each other down. Find your bliss where you can and fight for others to have that same right.
Be well. Be wonderful. Be you.

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